What they don't teach you in school.

"Anything you can do, I can do better... I can do anything better than you..."

As far back as I can remember, I can recall the constant barrage from teachers and media that girls are equal to men. Not just equal in fact, but that we should embrace feminism, gender lines becoming far more hazy, and that women should strive for careers and prove they were "better" than men. I grew up with this concept that this was a competition, that men and women were on this race to prove whom was better. And it wasn't just in school, I recall this being so evident in tv and movies; successful women going to their office in their tennis shoes, keeping their heels in their purse, shoulder pads that reached their ears, and an obvious sense of pride and accomplishment on their faces.

What they never mentioned is that interpreting this message so literally could be more damaging to our gender roles rather than beneficial. I never really understood this up until a few years ago that I began to notice how feminism has in some ways actually affected our society negatively. Now please, don't misinterpret what I'm saying. Women have come a long way to be treated equally in the workplace and in general, and even so we still have a gap to fill. But by holding onto this notion so tightly, we've actually arrived to the point that 3 serious cons have developed.

The first is that girls that grow up with this "Sex in the City" mentality that men are unnecessary is very damaging to their overall sense of worth and view of their male counterparts. We are essentially physiologically built for companionship, so what is so wrong for admitting that we need each other? Girls grow up with this skewed mentality and arrive to adulthood already cynics of the male gender. Yes, we should always be careful but not to the point of cynicism. Whether we like it or not, we are dependent on each other not just for survival, but for an overall sense of security and for lack of a better term, for a sense of completion.

The second is that due to women taking such a prominent role in society, men have become lazy, acquiescent and disturbingly unchivalrous. In a previous blog I asked which came first, whether men's laziness had pushed women to become more dominant and/or aggressive or is it that women's actions have led men to become more lazy? I'm a true believer that it is the latter. And as my generation and the ones that come after grow older, we unfortunately have come to embrace this as the norm. But it should not be. The very act of being a gentleman has long gone and is seen very rarely. Which is why I act so surprised when a man consistently opens a door for me, pulls out a chair for me, walks on the outside of the sidewalk as a protective gesture, picks up the tab even though I dispute it. I shouldn't be acting surprised, but that's how society works now.

The third is that now the act of being a stay at home mom is frowned upon. This is probably the con that upsets me most because being in charge of several tiny brats all day while maintaining your household, cleaning and cooking, and still slapping on a smile when your husband gets home is one of the hardest jobs in the world. People underestimate the work that goes into raising children, especially when they're not at school age. Stay at home moms should be respected just as much as their career-driven counterparts. Yet somehow we lost sight of this when girls were urged to stop desiring to push a stroller and instead carry a briefcase.

We should continue embracing that men and women should be valued as equals but also must understand the fact that we are certainly not the same. As women we should value these hurdles we've faced but not undermine the fact that we continue to be women and should embrace and value it. It's ok to be vulnerable and sensitive. Also, we need men, whether we like to admit or not, and should not run from that fact. As for the men, they should begin to understand that women although seek to be valued as your equal, also just want to be treated like a lady. Do not acquiesce, it shows disinterest and apathy. Take charge, be masculine, and be chivalrous. Women will appreciate your courtesy and "manliness". And as difficult as it is to admit, you need us too.

It's easier said than done, to embrace gender roles if  you haven't in the past. But it should be a common goal, for all of us to understand that it's not a competition, we are not in a race, and I've finally come to embrace the concept that "I can do anything better with you."

Blame it on the medication.

I've been sick for nearly a week now. The kind of sick that has kept me in bed nearly immobile from my body aches, with chills and sweats all day and night from this hellish fever, and a nausea so fierce that I hadn't eaten solids since Monday morning... until tonight. I had a cookie. I had to.

Being sick allows you the time to think about things you normally don't. Like how I miss the the sound of a dial tone. Yes, I know. It's random. But it doesn't make it any less true.

As I was pondering this I also thought about how dependent we've become on our gadgets. Our cell phones, our laptops, our social networking sites. As much as I feel that they help keep us connected, I feel like a lot of this has helped in drifting us all apart. I believe social networking sites in particular have caused us to become a far more self-absorbed culture. Not only that, but far less genuinely interested in other people's situations. I can't help but observe this pattern of social disinterest. People honestly just don't give a fuck about other people anymore. And it's really sad.

 :::I rambled on for about another 2 paragraphs:::

I will spare you the ramblings because these antibiotics are making me hypersensitive to everything and I would likely come off like a babbling emotional mess. I'll be returning to normal soon. Hopefully.

Nevertheless, one last observation that I'll make a point on is that we don't tell people we care about how much they mean to us on a regular basis. I can't tell you how much I love telling my friends how much I adore them. How much they enrich my life. What they mean to me. Maybe telling people how you feel about them is uncomfortable, some people find it difficult to be expressive, but I know how much of a boost it is know that you mean a lot to someone. So I have no issues in reminding them. People need to start picking up on this habit a little more often. You tend to hear people say stuff like "Never forget to tell those you love how much you love them." after a death or a close call but you never actually see people doing it regularly. And really, don't just reserve sharing that special message to family. Your close friends are just as important. If you still find it difficult, then compliment them. The point is to always make sure your friends know you see them as the awesome people that they are.

I am surprised I was even able to get through this entire thing without blowing a vessel. I believe the confusion (another one of its lovely side effects among many others) has been setting in for a bit... you have NO IDEA how many typos I've had to fix. I'm sure I could've written this far better off the meds but I just couldn't wait another week. Hopefully it all makes sense once all of my senses have returned. Time for bed.

Tootles.