I consider myself an expert on DATING. Notice I mention dating but not relationships. I have never effectively managed a long term relationship (the most I could handle was 10 months of a painful back and forth between someone I never even liked very much, but did manage to love). Commitment is not my forte... so if you ask my opinion, I can only give you one from pure perspective but not from experience. But dating is a field I can relate to. I've purchased land on it and made my home in it. Do I like living here? Welllllll... it has its pros and cons.
Dating can be a freeing experience. You have full control of who is coming in and out of your life, how long they last, and when you're willing to dismiss them. With dating you don't have to put up with bullshit. There's no pressure about where I am or who I'm with. One can be fiercely independent as I am, enjoy the company of whomever I'm dating at the time, and not have to account for every detail going on in my life. But I feel that with dating there is an unfair advantage for men, no question. When the hell was it determined that men are whom decide when dating progresses to a relationship? More importantly, why have men become so lazy when it comes to courting women? Is it because women are just making it easier for men (which is totally my theory)? Or is it that because men have gotten so lazy, women have to pick up the slack?
Nevertheless, normal dating nowadays has progressed to something new... Casual Dating. Which is just a fancier version of a fuck buddy. This one may include dinners and drinks, this may also include texts or cute calls in the middle of the night, but in the end there is no intention on progressing to anything further other than fucking and cuddling on occasion. There is nothing wrong with fuck buddies, or casual dating or whatever the hell you want to call it, but there has to be absolute clarity and concurrence with both parties involved, which more commonly isn't the case.
The author of the blog post mentioned that men who make clear that they have "zero expectations" from the beginning come off as tacky. I can agree in some aspect; we're certainly not here just to pleasure men without expecting anything in return, but you have to respect a man for being honest from the very beginning. Coming from someone who was completely misled and manipulated at one time, I much prefer tacky than a manipulative asshole. It's experiences like those that can harden a woman, make her mistrusting of men's intentions and worse off, can turn them into cynics.
But I digress, the dating game is this constantly evolving jungle-like animal that will feast on the weak and celebrate the keen. I hate the fact that it's a game. It can get complicated and messy and if approached unprepared, can eat you alive. I miss the days that when a boy liked me, he'd just write me a cute letter and stick it in my locker or under my windshield wiper. Or that someone liked you for just being you. Now I have to worry about whether I'm too aloof or whether a man has genuine intentions, or ughhhhhhhh. It's exhausting.
Which is why a while back ago I quit certain aspects of this game. I just got tired of it. I don't call or follow up with a guy when we first start dating. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a complete bitch. I'm always nice and polite, but I find myself being less than slightly interested in the guys I date and usually leave it up to them to prove to me otherwise. This technique has helped me weed out the lazy from the ones that are actually worth my time. And my God are there lazy fuckers out there. Those are the ones who won't put too much effort into something that doesn't pay off quickly. And those are exactly the ones I like to avoid. Maybe this can come off as snobby or arrogant, but I've come to the conclusion that I just don't give a fuck. If a man is interested, he'll put forth the effort. No question.
So what do you think about the game? What do you guys think about the advantages men have over women when it comes to dating? Why do you think that is?
