Today he popped up at my house by surprise. I hate it when he does this. Unannounced... uninvited... and completely unaware of how much it irks me.
I looked like shit.
I had been cleaning all day. I was sweaty. My hair disheveled and dirty. No make up. Just a walking mess. And here was all 6 feet and 5 inches of him standing across from me at my doorstep, just elated to see me. He found it cute that I was self-conscious about it. This isn't about self-consciousness buddy, this is about being a woman. And unless I've been with you long enough to feel comfortable carrying my funk around you, there's no way in hell I'll allow you to come near me in moments like these. But he seemed completely nonchalant about it... he was just in his usual joyful silly mood and so I went with it.
But when will we finally arrive to some normalcy? And the more important question, do I really even want it anymore???
The more that time goes by, the less I honestly care. I've become bored. In fact, I became bored over a month ago. And the trust issues are so severe, that even if we were to pick up exactly where he says we will and he comes through with his promises, I don't think we'd last as a genuine couple. It's sort of sad, really. Under different circumstances, I believe we would've been good together. He loves to talk, I love to listen. We share the same love for travel, the same views on politics, religion, social issues, etc. We never run out of conversation and honestly enjoy each others company all of the time. Even when things get serious, we don't argue... we just talk. But the reality is that he and I will likely never be.
It's a shitty situation... mostly because my mom really likes him. And that woman never likes anyone.
Nevertheless, after realizing things between he and I were a perpetual shithole, I opened my eyes back up to the people around me. It didn't take long for me to meet someone new.
Yes. I met someone else.
He is very attractive, although those who know me well would likely be quick to claim that he's not my "type". I guess I would agree. But he's won me over with all of his other fantastic traits. Most importantly, he's 100% single. If anything, I'll at least come out of this with a great friend... but it's obvious both of us are at least curious about each other. The flirtation is constant and the last time we were together, we couldn't keep our hands off of each other... in a friendly manner of course. It's cute... and feels unforced. It may not be animalistic and impulsive like it was with the other, but this guy is a man. And I think it's time to deal with men rather than boys.
